to Get in Sync as Parents
A Practical Guide to Start the Conversation
For better or for worse our behavior and instincts as adults are based on how we grew up.
Sometimes that means bringing forward beautiful traditions that make life more fun and meaningful. And, unfortunately, sometimes it means finding yourself in a heated situation, acting out in ways you’re not proud of but don’t know how to deal with any other way.
Without some amount of proactive effort on your (the parents’) part to unify your message/values/rules of the home, your children end up bouncing back and forth between the two of you.
You can decide to have a more unified message, agree on your values, and what the rules of your home should be. You must do it together though. Use the questions here to start the conversation.
They prompt you to each reflect on your childhood experiences, put the pieces together, and perhaps discover why you now react in certain situations in ways that may surprise you both.
The topics were chosen specifically to help you as parents come to consensus on some of the most common issues parents face, from the early years of learning to deal with discipline and the influence of in-laws, all the way up through the teenage years.
Topics and Samples Questions
- Consistency. Did you feel like your parents were united when it came to discipline and rewards? (One made decisions and the other followed through.) If not, did you play them against each other to get what you wanted?
- Extended Family. Were you close to your grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins growing up? If so, how were they involved in your life?
- Emotions/Mental Health
- Adult Relationships. Did your parents go on dates? Did they make a point of maintaining their relationship, or was everything family time?
- Family Dinner. Did your family eat dinner together most nights? If not, was time together to talk and hear about each other’s day something important to the family?