To move forward together you’ve got to get in sync

Use these 20 questions to start the conversation and, perhaps, some self-directed healing.


Darling, why the #!*K do you do that?

20 topics and sample questions on some of the most common difficulties parents encounter when raising their own families. 

01. Relationships

02. Consistency – Did you feel like your parents were united when it came to discipline and rewards? (One made decisions and the other followed through.) If not, did you play them against each other to get what you wanted?

03. Safety

04. Traditions

05. Involvement

06. Commitment

07. Extended Family – Were you close to your grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins growing up? If so, how were they involved in your life?

08. Grandparents

09. Discipline

10. Chores/Responsibilities

11. Emotions/Mental Health

12. Money

13. Visitors

14. Self-Reliance

15. Education

16. Adult Relationships – Did your parents go on dates? Did they make a point of maintaining their relationship, or was everything family time?

17. Community

18. Siblings

19. Cleanliness

20. Family Dinner – Did your family eat dinner together most nights? If not, was time together to talk and hear about each other’s day something important to the family?


The questions in this guide are meant to start a conversation and, perhaps, some self-directed healing.

They prompt you to each reflect on your childhood experiences, put the pieces together, and perhaps discover why you now react in certain situations in ways that may surprise you both.

The topics were chosen specifically to help you as parents come to a consensus on some of the most common issues parents face, from the early years of learning to deal with discipline and the influence of in-laws, all the way up through the often rebellious teenage years.

A great resource for:

  • Parents with children of any age
  • First-time expectant parents

Why is getting in sync important?

For better or for worse our behavior and instincts as adults are based on what we learned growing up. Sometimes those experiences allow us to bring forward wisdom and beautiful traditions that make life more fun and meaningful.

And, unfortunately, sometimes it means finding yourself in a heated situation where your family experiences and wisdom is different than that of your significant other. Because of that difference, you act out in ways you’re not proud of but don’t know how to deal with any other way.

Without some amount of proactive effort on your (the parents’) part to unify your message/values/rules of the home, your children end up bouncing back and forth between the two of you. Your valuable wisdom is lost and family traditions suffer.

Together, you can decide to have a more unified message, agree on your values, and determine what the rules of your home should be. Use the questions here to start the conversation.

FREE Workbook

Darling, why the #!*k do you do that?

20 questions about childhood and family culture to get yourselves in sync as parents

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